Look out the window: it’s overcast outside, and the sun is hidden behind the clouds. We may want it to come out, but we cannot influence the weather. We accept this fact, while knowing for sure that the sun hasn’t gone anywhere — it’s simply obscured by clouds, and sooner or later we will see it again.

The same applies to anxiety. Attempts to "get rid" of it are like trying to disperse clouds with your hands: it’s impossible and leads only to emotional exhaustion. The only way to live without being crushed by anxiety is to learn to accept it as part of the "weather" of your inner world.

And keep living-breathing, working, moving forward — despite this “cloudy weather.”

Imagine that an alarm suddenly goes off in your apartment.

Your first reaction is not to resign yourself to the deafening sound, but to check whether there is a real danger. You look around and realize there is no fire; the cause might be dead batteries or a draft that opened a window.

And then you act: you change the batteries, close the window. You don’t "get rid" of the alarm system itself (you need it for safety!), you address the specific problem that triggered it.

Instead of panicking at the sound itself, ask yourself: "What is my psyche trying to protect me from right now? Is there a real threat?" In this way, we don’t eliminate the alarm — we resolve the issue that caused it.

Before taking action, let’s assess the scale. When anxiety overwhelms you, simply sit down, make a pause, and ask yourself a simple question: "What is the intensity of my anxiety right now on a scale from 1 to 10?"

These simple actions — assessing and naming — already reduce the intensity and restore some sense of control. You stop simply being "in anxiety" and start working with it.

At the core of strong anxiety lie rigid and extreme beliefs. They dictate how things "should" be, and any deviation from this course triggers a storm.

Examples of such beliefs:

Soften the wording; translate the belief into the language of possibility and probability:

The word "probably" and the rejection of categorical thinking allow your attention to shift from anxiety to concrete actions and information.

Do you constantly replay past experiences, failed relationships, or an awkward phrase you once said? This is rumination, or "mental chewing gum." It pulls you into the past, fixating on mistakes, and prevents you from living in the present.

Set a time limit for rumination.

Allow yourself to do it — but not endlessly. Say to yourself: "Okay, I’ll give myself five minutes for these useless memories of my past." Set a timer. Immerse yourself in them for those five minutes. When the time is up, switch decisively.

Shift your attention to the “here and now”.

After immersing yourself in thoughts, immediately engage your senses.

Look around and silently name:

Accept the intrusive thought.

Instead of desperately trying to push it out of your mind, acknowledge its presence and negotiate with it. Say: "Yes, I see you. You’re here. But right now I’m going to a meeting (making a presentation, cooking dinner). I’ll come back to you later if necessary."

Ask yourself: “What am I missing?”

Every time you catch yourself in obsessive thinking, answer this question in writing. What is being pushed into the background? Your real tasks, communication with loved ones, moments of joy?

Give up total certainty.

We can never be 100% sure of anything. The weather changes, plans collapse, children get sick. Accept this as a given.

Your task is not to control everything and everyone, but to respond flexibly to changes — control your actions and reactions.

Question your doubts.

When doubts arise ("What if it doesn’t work?", "This will be a failure!"), ask yourself: "Are these doubts actually helpful? Do they prevent me from simply taking a step?"

Ask yourself: “What advice would I give a friend?”

Take a notebook and answer this question in writing. If your friend were panicking before a presentation or calling you upset after a difficult conversation, what would you say to him? You’ll discover that you are much kinder and wiser toward a friend than toward yourself.

The key idea in working with anxiety is this: our goal is not to get rid of anxiety itself, but to build a relationship with it in which it stops being in charge and becomes just one of the background experiences.

We negotiate with it, accept its presence, learn to understand its signals, and respond to them appropriately.