Just woke up, but no strength longer: how to deal with apathy

Elina Landman for Psychologies
Are you familiar with this feeling?

The alarm clock rings, eyes open, but it seems impossible to get out of bed. Not physically — the body is healthy, but there is emptiness inside. There are no desire, no strength, no interest in the coming day.
This condition, directly related to the emotional background, is called apathy, and unfortunately it can be encountered by any of us.

What are the roots of this problem, how to recognize it in time and overcome?
What causes apathy
To understand the nature of morning apathy, let’s look back at your childhood: did you feel indifference to what was happening around you when you were younger than 5−6 years old? Most likely you did not: in childhood, each of us had many desires, interests, dreams. The world seemed full of possibilities for exploration.

Then, what happens with age?
Gradually, responsibility and a sense of duty to others appear on the horizon: this series of obligations grows with each passing year, like a snowdrift. This is the main problem — the internal conflict between our true desires and imposed externally "I must" and "I owe".
In childhood we perceived the world through the prism of simple opposites: "good-bad", "allowed-prohibited", "hot-cold", which is quite normal for a developing psyche.

The fact is that many adults remain at this stage of black-and-white thinking, deprived of flexibility, which creates painful internal contradictions and can subsequently lead to deep internal conflict.
Ideally, a mature psyche should be able to assimilate and adapt contradictory messages.
For example, you can both love your partner and be angry at him because of a quarrel. You can be proud of your career achievements and regret you did not give enough time to the family.

The skill of flexibility helps to accept these contradictions as a natural part of life and not feel guilty about your own decisions and priorities.

Internal conflicts often arise in childhood through the contradictory attitudes of significant adults. A classic example: parents say to the child "study well and everything will be fine", and then reproach: "yes, you do study well, but you have no friends at all".
Such double messages create intractable dilemmas: how to be successful academically and socially active at the same time? The psyche begins to "make do and mend", expending a huge amount of effort and energy trying to meet contradictory requirements.
There are a number of markers by which one can trace the presence of internal conflict in one’s mental reality. In protracted situations, it is precisely the reason why a person can feel constant gloom.

Conflicts are mainly manifested through internal dialogues with a construction of type "yes, but …": "I would learn English, but I constantly lack time" or "I would organize my business, but I don’t have the necessary skills for this".
What is apathy
Apathy is a state of emotional immobility, when a person seems to freeze not only inside but also outside. The name "apathy" is translated from Greek as "absence of feelings and emotions".
It is what characterizes our ability to live and adapt the emotional spectrum.
It is important to note that in some situations the state of apathy can be called ecological: the human organism is not able to maintain a high level of emotional arousal in the form of joy, inspiration and love for a long time.

However, it is important to be able to shift your focus and not "get stuck" in any state, as well as distinguish short-term apathy that can occur in healthy people during periods of stress and chronic condition requiring professional help.
How to detect apathy

If we talk about a serious diagnosed symptom and not about a short-term stage of emotional decline, the main signs of apathy are:

  • Difficulty in performing usual daily tasks
  • Reduced social activity
  • Breaking the routine (for example, you don’t want to wash your face, prepare breakfast)
  • Concentration difficulty
  • Feeling of fatigue and indifference to people around you
  • Loss of interest in activities that used to enjoy you
Apathy may be associated with more serious systemic diseases of the organism.
The most important thing is to identify these signs at the initial stage and not to start the emotional fading into a state of prolonged apathy.

First, it is necessary to carry out an examination with the endocrinologist, neurologist and therapist: the delivery of the necessary tests and diagnostics will help to exclude the appearance of apathy because of systemic diseases (it can be hormonal imbalance, anemia, endocrine disorders, heart diseases, vessels and any consequences of craniocerebral injuries).
How to determine the cause of apathy
If the campaign to doctors was successful, it is time to move on to the stage of identifying the psychological causes of an apathetic state. As mentioned earlier, the primary cause of apathy is internal conflict in any case, but in turn it gives rise to a number of following reasons for this state.
Apathy often arises from external conflicts that "highlight" internal contradictions — disputes at work, family disagreements, unreasonable expectations of yourself and others. Any conflict situation underlines the existence of many different confrontations that already exist within us.
Stress of not having lived up to our own expectations or the expectations of others, devour a huge amount of energy reserves.
Prolonged stress and emotional overload lead to the fact that the organism engages a protective mechanism of withdrawal and launches a program of dissatisfaction itself.

Self-worth is very closely related to flexibility: it is important to find the strength to thank yourself and feel your integrity and importance. This will help you to get away from the negative and be able to adapt in a period of energy decline.
The obvious reason
are also lifestyle problems:
1
Sleep disorders
2
Inability to distribute the load
3
Unbalanced diet
Developing cognitive flexibility
The key to overcoming apathy is flexible thinking: it helps to find creative solutions, develop empathy for different points of view, effectively analyze situations, adapt faster to change, manage stress — generally, it helps to combat all the key causes of apathy.
The opposite of flexibility is rigid black-and-white thinking, when we see only extremes: "all or nothing", "always right or always wrong".
Such thinking is a protective reaction of the psyche: it blocks the aspiration for compromise, desired halfway in the constructions "yes, but…".

It develops with the complexity of perceiving the diversity of life and presence of traumatic negative experiences in the past associated with it — a person eventually comes to one-sided, narrow thinking, like in childhood.
For example, at the end of long-term relationships, young men are often disappointed with women in general and say that no one is worthy of love or trust. This is a vivid example of black-and-white thinking — in fact, such attitudes indicate a desire of control and fear of letting go and are rooted in mistrust of the world and people.

In this case, it is very important to reflect and look for the reason of such beliefs that prevent the development of cognitive flexibility and see a realistic complete picture of the world.
Practical steps

1
Change your usual behavioral patterns
If you like theater, but only choose drama — try ballet. Travel to new places, socialize with people outside the usual circle. This can be called a synthesis of the visual series of one’s own knowledge. Watchfulness greatly expands and softens the rigid emotions and principles of a person.

2
Practice reflexes
Analyze situations according to the scheme: "event — thoughts — emotions — behavior". Look for connections and alternative interpretations of past events.

3
Look for reasons to get out of bed
The most important exercise: every morning at the moment of awakening ask yourself — what makes me get out of bed besides commitments? What can bring me joy, interest, inspiration in the coming day?

It can be a delicious breakfast you prepare yourself, looking out the window at the waking world, favorite music or anticipation of meeting interesting people.

It is important to find your own sources of motivation, not those imposed from outside.
If you live only in the construction of commitment, then you have missed the connection with the inner value of life. But it is the inner motor that helps to wake up with joy and welcome a new day with interest, despite all difficulties.
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